Sex Drive in Park

Short post today, kids.

Here I am, three shots in, and my sex drive is essentially non-existent. What the hell. My partner told me today that kissing me was like kissing a mannequin. Great.

I would be the person that would have an opposite effect to the testosterone as everyone else. I expected to be going around humping office chairs by now. As it is, I have zero sex drive. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. It’s frustrating for me, and it’s starting to really get to my partner. I keep trying to tell her that it has nothing to do with her, that it’s not that I’m not attracted to her. I just have no mojo.

My partner has always had a much higher sex drive than me. So much so that she pushes for sex even when I’m sick, or she’s going through a bipolar cycle (read: being a mean ol’ jerk), or when I’m exhausted. To the point that her pushing pushes me away. My sex drive normally comes in waves. It’s fairly normal for someone of my age, I think, but I’m not a damn teenager. Except that right now, I sort of am.

I cannot believe that my sex drive is dead in the water. The last time I experienced something like this was years ago when I was on anti-depressants. Come on, testosterone! Do your thing! This isn’t the norm, is it? I keep hoping that maybe this is the calm before the storm. Maybe I’m just a late bloomer. Maybe in another week I’ll be running over to my partner’s office for a quickie at lunch.

If anyone reading this had, or is having, the same problem, shout out! It’d be nice to know I’m not going crazy, and that it will all get better eventually.

Right now, I feel like I’m at the starting line, revving my engine, waiting for the light to turn green so I can hit the gas.

7 thoughts on “Sex Drive in Park”

  1. K so first. Breathe. That’s it. Take a deep breath.

    Have you had your first period while on T yet? You don’t have to answer this here if you don’t want, but I know that adjusting to hormones takes TIME, and it was really after that first period that I settled down and adjusted to having hormones in my system and then WOWZA I COULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HOW I FELT AND OMG IT WAS AWESOME.

    Also, let’s look at this rationally. So if you’re adjusting to a new medication, feeling pressured by your partner, feeling like your partner doesn’t really respect/accommodate your dysphoria (specifically I’m thinking about your partner playing with your body hair and then getting mad when it made you uncomfortable), feeling like your partner is not interested in you (who wants to kiss a freaking mannequin??) or you’re not getting enough rest/nutrition/water/whatever, that’s ALL going to effect your libido. Even one of those would affect it, and you’ve got ’em all going on.

    So we’re back to this: Breathe. That’s it. Take a deep breath. I promise your sex drive didn’t run off never to return, but if you responded to antidepressants by having a lower libido, it’s a fairly logical conclusion that adapting to changing hormones lowers your natural inclination to have sex. And that is okay. Your body will adjust.

    Reply

    1. Breathing is overrated! =P Actually, as far as periods go, I’m just finishing up this month. It was brutal. You’re spot on point, of course. The rational side of my brain knows that the adjusting to everything will, of course, have an effect on libido. The irrational side of my brain is, well, being irrational. It’s a toss-up as to which side wins out on any given day.

      I know that women going through menopause tend to have a lower sex drive, and right now my body is trying to hit puberty AND menopause at the same time. It has no idea what’s happening, only that there’s an influx of one hormone and a retreat of another. Eventually everything will be on even keel, and hopefully my body will stop wigging out about things.

      Thanks for the pep talk. 🙂 Sometimes there needs to be that one person who pulls a Cher… *slap* “Snap out of it!”

      Reply

      1. Yeahhhh that first one… man. It’s fucking terrible. I feel you.

        My doctor says it should be much better this month! *crosses fingers*

        And yes. You’re gonna be okay. I’ll be Cher for you if you’ll be Cher for me when I need it?

  4. It does take time. I had close to zero sex drive 6 months ago. I thought, cool T is going to change that. Months went by and it came and went, so it increased but was not steady. This month, #6, I am feeling a steadier drive but still not up to par with stories from others. I believe it takes time, and I totally agree with Khai, all those stressers, even in an adolescent would later our outflow of energy. And yeah to be going thru puberty and menopause simultaneous has its own effect. That is pretty much my situation as well. So patience and yes Breathe!!

    Reply

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